Monday, August 4, 2008

What is a blog?

This post might appear really weird for two reasons. One is that it can take a while to agree with its contents if you write a blog. The second one is that it is written on a blog itself.
Let's see what a blog is and why people write blogs.

A blog is a huge collection of text and visual media, which is posted by people because:

A. They want to post something useful on the internet. Something like a manual or some news. That's all that is covered under the useful blog.

B. They want to get noticed. These are blogs which say nothing but reveal the lives of people who write them. If you're reading this blog, you should have figured out where this one fits. Anyway, that is immaterial, since blog-antiblog cancels out.

The B blogs are a big waste of storage space. Their topics range from humorous parodies of bestselling books to movie reviews to tales of why one is fat to tales of what one thinks about blogs. People easily fall sucker to Google and Microsoft's strategy and write: Blogs.

People who write B blogs think that they're getting famous, and people really love what they write. Truth is, they're wasting storage, time and productivity. B Blog authors always picture themselves as narrating their useless gaatha to an invisible audience. Hardly do they realise that the audience is invisible. It is not there. Blogging, along with many other internet trends are spelling disaster for humanity. Bloggers think that once they post their nonsense and click the Submit button, it magically transforms into some high-energy object, full of radiance and untouched, mint-condition deliciousness, waiting to be savoured by thousands and millions of people. B Bloggers feel a sense of acheivement once their blog has been read and commented upon.

B Blogs need to go down for several reasons. One of them is that you get nothing for writing them, except a false sense of accomplishment. Yes, you have an Ad Sense account on your blog, which generates about as much money in a year as the GDP of the moon. You market your trash for... nothing. Just comments. Okay. It's understandable if you're doing this on the basis of the free and open source concept, which says, "Give them previews. Lots of previews. They'll come to know that your product is good, and will eventually rush to the nearest store when you actually release one for sale." But for the other kind, you must seriously realise that trash fetches yet more trash.

Take this blog, for example: A guy wrote a parody of a famous bestselling book about magic and magical schools. He used words like "lulz", "ROFL" and "lololwtfius". What will that accomplish?
Another one harped about how fat he is. Okay, he may be suggesting a way to help lose weight, but it still is nonsense.

One of the most useless kinds of blogs are those which contain movie reviews. They are an enormous waste of time, because:

A. Nobody cares about what you thought of a movie.
B. Your blog is not the place where I'd go for a movie review. That's what IMDB's for.

Inspite of all this, B blogs continue to flourish. Blogs get read only by bloggers. The minor fraction of non-bloggers who read it, start writing one of their own in a new tab, even before they've finished reading the first. That's how the B blog community mushrooms uncontrollably. We must stop it. We must put an end to this menace that has gripped our throats and is about to snip off our thoraxes with such crushing force, that the midsection gets disintigrated into a huge pile of goop.

By now, I have well eastablished that this is not a B blog. Look at my other posts. Do any of them look like the ones I've described in this one? Please tell me if they do.

No comments: